Sonic Boom: Spiky Dentist Blues
by sonikkugirl8
Summary: Sonic has a bad day, which results in him having to go the dentist. Seems like a pretty standard tooth repair, until Sonic has to go under laughing gas for the first time in his life. And as we all know, a delirious speedster is just asking for trouble... especially when nothing is stopping him from walking right out the dentists' chair...
1. Don't Think That Was Supposed to Happen

Chapter 1- I Don't Think That Was Supposed to Happen

It was a beautiful day in Bygone Island. The sun was shining, the non-anthro animals were frolicking and having fun with the villagers, and, as per usually, Eggman was around to ruin everybody's day.

"Something about today doesn't seem right…" The mad doctor mused as he surveyed the village from his island fortress.

"I'll say," Cubot replied," They said they were having a sale on motor oil, but the price was a dollar EXTRA! Now how am I gonna pay for retirement?"

"Robots don't retire, Cubot." Orbot told his yellow friend sadly. "We live slavishly on to serve until we become obsolete or rust from age."

"... What do you mean we don't retire?!"

"Shut up, the both of you!" Eggman screamed, sick of their rambling. "I meant to say it's too cheerful and happy in the village!"

"Why didn't you just say so before?!"

"I was making an observation. Now let me see how I can shake things up a bit… Let's see, what robot haven't I used again too much yet…?"

"You can use Cowbot!" Cubot suggested.

"Tell me you're joking. Y'know what, I'm feeling standard today. Let's just bring a bunch of Motobugs and Buzz Bombers out there and have ourselves a good time!"

"Oh yes, great plan!" Orbot said in agreement. "... as if that hasn't failed you OH so many times…" He added as an aside comment.

"This time, I have a DEFINITE gut feeling I'll get Sonic out of the picture!" The doctor looked up at the sky, got down on his knees and pleaded. "Oh, PLEASE Universe, let me win this time. You have to throw me a bone! New Years didn't count, he let me win!"

"He's begging again…" Orbot whispered to Cubot.

"I hope I don't have to dress as a shooting star and fall from the roof again."

* * *

Meanwhile, Team Sonic was doing what they always do when they have nothing to do: Hang out on the beach.

"Hey, we DO always hang out on the beach, don't we?" Knuckles mused to himself.

"Who's up for a round of volleyball?!" Sonic asked his lounging friends.

"Against you? I'll pass." Amy deadpanned.

"I'm out too. Too busy working." Tails explained

"It'd ruin the space time continuum if we tried and won." Sticks spouted out while making herself a new boomerang.

"You guys are boring."

"I'll play with you!" Knuckles said.

"You will?!"

"Sure! I just have to get my hand out of this pool chair. NGH! About a quarter way there RH!"

"Oh, come on guys, I won't even use my speed if you play with me!"

"And then two seconds into the game you will forget that promise and eventually begin playing with yourself as usual." Amy pointed out.

"I do not always play with myself!"

* * *

" _Okay, service!" Knuckles called as he shot the ball over to the other side."_

" _Here, Sonic, that's all you buddy!" Tails hit the ball over to his partner._

" _Gotcha covered!" The ball got passed promptly back to Tails… only to be immediately spiked over the net by Sonic. "OH YEAH, SCORE! YEAH, SONIC HIT THAT ONE IN BABY!"_

" _And here we go with the third person." Amy, Sticks, Tails, and Knuckles said in unison._

* * *

"Oh, whatever. I'm going to Meh Burger." The irate speedster dropped the volleyball in the sand and sped off by himself.

"Maybe I'll go join him later. He seemed pretty upset." Tails considered.

"Eh. He'll get over it." said Sticks.

* * *

"Hey Dave you got anything new?" Sonic innocently inquired.

"Something new… my boss told me to start selling meat that I dropped on the floor, do you want that?"

"Nuuuu thanks, just a normal burger I guess."

"*snicker* I'll give him the gross meat anyways and he'll be none the wiser… then I'll finally get that promotion so that my job here's actually worthwhile!"

"You were saying, Dave?" Sonic questioned, not being more than five feet from the counter.

"Uh… uuh… I'M ON MY BREAK!" Dave closed up shop and played with his figures for comfort.

"Great… now I can't even get semi edible fast food. Can this day get anymore terrible?"

"Of course it can, rodent!"

"Me and my big mouth…" Sonic uttered with complete apathy. "Alright, what's the evil plan this time?"

"It's very simple! I'm going to- cue the dramatic theme music."

"Okay, boss." Orbot put up the romantic montage music instead.

"NO, NOT THAT ONE, YOU STUPID ROBOT! THE TRACK NEXT TO IT!"

"Y-Yes of course." Finally playing the right track, the doctor and his robots gave a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to RUIN SOMEONE'S ALREADY TERRIBLE DAY!"

"Evil scheme writer's block, Eggy?"

"*sigh* Evil scheme writer's block."

"Sad…"

"Enough talk! Robots… ATTACK!"

Just then, entire swarms of Buzz Bombers and Motobugs burst from every crevice in the vicinity. In all about 300 hundred robots were present. More than the usual robot fare, but Sonic figured he could take them all by himself since no one was there to help him.

"Boy, the others are gonna miss out on the beat down of a lifetime!" Sonic thought, beginning to become amused at the situation now and a little excited.

One by the, the robots began to be mowed down. Sonic ripped through each of them with a quick Spin Dash or Homing Attack to their metallic faces. Around robot number 50, the fight shifted to turning the tide against poor Sonic. Eggman had specifically designed these robots to surround and overwhelm their opponent, and by the way Sonic was struggling around Robot 127, the devious scientist could tell it was working.

"Aw… is the rodent getting exhausted…?"

"No way… I could go for hours! *pant* Keep 'em coming!" Sonic tiredly shouted.

"Victory will be mine…"

"Not so fast, Eggbreath!" Tails had flown in to check up on Sonic and this unbelievable sight is what he had to walk into?!

"Tails, I could use a hand! Please?!"

"On it. Go my little short-circuiting bot, GO!"

In a swift motion, Tails' robot shut down all of the robots swarming Sonic, effectively ending Eggman's attack.

"HA! Looks like we win again, Eggy!"

"Oh, DARN, I was so close!" Eggman screamed in anguish.

"Better luck next time, eh?"

In celebration, Sonic punted one of the now defunct robots up into the air, but he miscalculated where his kick would land. He found out where rather quickly.

"Great job buddy. Hi five?"

"Definitely, Sonic." As the two friends were about to share in a high five, the robot from moments ago clocked the eldest in the side of the noggin. Sonic's eyes began to spin and he saw stars whenever he looked.

"What the heck?! Sonic are you okay?"

"Pleased to make your acquaintance sir, I am Madame Stinkbottom… G'NIGHT EVERYBODY!" The dazed hedgehog quickly dropped to the floor, falling right cheek first and knocking out quite a few teeth in the process, even shattering one at one point.

"Well… that was pleasantly unexpected," Eggman thought out loud with glee. "I win, TOODLES!" The doctor fled, feeling satisfied with himself.

Today just was not Sonic's day, was it?


	2. A 'Totally Normal' Dentist Appointment

Chapter 2- A 'Totally Normal' Dentist Appointment

When Sonic finally woke up in his hammock from what seemed like hours for his friends, but in reality was only 30 minutes, the first thing he focused on wasn't the pain in his temples, or the prospect of another victory against the doctor, or even where the heck he was. No, the first thing he focused on was the fact that the right side of his face was in pain and missing a thing or two. Or three… or six.

"Why does my mouth hurt so badly…?" Sonic asked everyone currently crowding him in a groggy fashion. The anxiety of wondering if Sonic was okay after that robot knocked him out turned into anxiety over how he would react to his 'beautiful face' (Sonic's own words) now being messed up.

"Uh… well, ya see buddy…" Tails started.

"Your teeth got knocked out when you hit the floor." Sticks replied without any tact or care.

"Thanks for that WONDERFUL description, Sticks." Amy replied sarcastically, knowing now none of them would hear the end of it.

"You're welcome!" the badger said with a genuine smile.

"What?! Give me a mirror!" demanded the injured hedgehog, now wide awake at this news. To put it bluntly he didn't like what he saw. A squeak escaped the hedgehog's lips as he took in the damage. "B-But… but… HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS?!"

"Here we go…" Tails said under his breath.

"I mean, what would you guys say if you saw a previously GORGEOUS face and then the next day he looked like a monster?!"

"Sonic, you're overreacting a little bit. Once the swelling goes down, you'll look perfectly fine."

"And another thing!" Sonic ranted on, "How the heck am I supposed to eat chili dogs with these?! Or milkshakes?! Or ice cream?! Or whatever the heck Meh Burger calls food?!"

"Hey, it'll be alright, pal." Knuckles tried to make Sonic feel better by giving him a hug, but being Knuckles he only succeeded in cutting off Sonic's blood circulation.

"World… becoming… dark…"

"You can let go now Knuckles." said Tails.

"Okay!" Knuckles let go and Sonic fell to the floor.

"OOF!"

"Well, Sonic, since you're this miserable, why don't we take you to the dentist tomorrow? You'll get your teeth all nice and patched up." Tails suggested.

"And you'll get a sticker!" Knuckles cried excitedly.

"Anything to fix my teeth… this really hurts…" Sonic nodded in agreement and he was made to have an appointment the very next day.

* * *

The next day, Tails and Amy took their ailing friend to the dentists' office. Little did Sonic know, he was scheduled for more than just a little check-up because of his broken teeth. He would have to go under surgery to get it corrected, but Tails thought it would be best not to say anything to at least get him through the door.

In the lobby, the trio found an unexpected face: Shadow the Hedgehog.

"Shadow? What are you doing here?" asked Amy.

"Oh great… you fools… if you must know, I'm here for my 6 month check-up."

"I didn't know you cared about dental hygiene…"

"..."

"Whatever…"

A nurse walked out into the waiting room. "Shadow the Hedgehog?"

"Finally…" With a flash of light, Shadow used Chaos Control and beamed himself right into the chair, not wanting to waste anymore time.

"Mr. Sunshine as usual, that one." Sonic joked. He was in a much better mood, seeing as though soon, his mouth would be fixed.

"Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"Coming!" The hedgehog hopped up and started his way down the hall.

"We'll be waiting right out here if you need us, pal!" Tails called out.

"Thanks guys!"

* * *

"Wassup, doc?" Sonic said as he waltzed into the room and plopped down into the chair.

"I'm doing alright, I suppose. You're here for tooth repair?"

"Yep."

"Alright, then open your mouth so I can get a look at the damage."

"Mmm-hmm." Sonic opened wide for the dentist, who was in a little bit of 'shock' from what he saw.

"Oh my, it's worse than what Tails told me…"

"Wait, what…?"

"We're going to have to perform the surgery right away." The dentist called in a large group of nurses. Sonic had a history of being defiant when doctors did more than your standard procedure.

"What are all these nurses doing here…?" Sonic asked warily.

The two parties shared a long stare at each other before Sonic decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately for him, a nurse who was waiting in the doorway grabbed him and plopped him back in the chair. Arm restraints activated and Sonic was stuck on it.

"I'm pretty sure this is medical malpractice!"

"Get the anesthetic." The dentist commanded.

"Yes sir." A few minutes later, the nurses came back with various canisters containing different medicines.

"Now Sonic, the amount I give will tie into how calm you can be. I can either put you under lightly or deeply. It all depends."

"I have a better idea. How bout we forget about this and I come back when you're not on shift because you're freaking me out? Sound cool?"

"AhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-no."

The only response he got was a mask being forcefully placed on his face, pumping medicine into his system and slowly dulling his senses. Moments later Sonic stopped struggling entirely and had no choice but to fall asleep and be at the mercy of the questionable practitioners.

"Got him. Now let's fix his teeth so we don't arouse suspicion."

These special personnel were hand-picked by none other than Dr. Eggman. The whole building was filled with his robots, having trapped all the real professionals on a boat in the middle of the ocean. And no one on the outside suspected a thing...

"Tails, why is that one nurse leaking fuel and coolant?"

"Probably a special medical condition. We shouldn't say anything."

"Oh, right, of course."

* * *

A few hours later, Amy and Tails were allowed to see their friend. Sonic was peacefully sleeping on the chair without a care in the world.

"Oh, isn't that adorable?" Amy said dreamily.

"We should probably take him home so he can eat something. He'll probably be hungry when he comes around."

"I'm sorry, but he can't leave without returning to consciousness." The dentist pointed out bluntly.

"I thought you were free to go once the procedure ends."

"We've, uh, had a policy change. The patient has to be conscious enough to discharge themselves before they can go," The dentist replied.

"Huh. Whatever you say." Amy said confused. "I guess we can wait here."

Soon after the dentist left, Amy began carefully attempting to shake Sonic awake. SHe honestly really didn't want to wait there while he got to sit there and nap all day.

"Sonic."

"..."

"Sonic, come on, we're done here. Wake up so we can leave."

"I don't think he can hear you, Amy…"

"I don't care, Tails. I have an art class appointment at 4 that I really canNOT miss!"

"Just leave and come back. I'm pretty sure we'll still be here, they use some pretty strong stuff."

"Alright then. But if something happens, you can't blame it on me. That is ALL YOU!" Amy leaves, upset that she couldn't take Sonic with her, since he promised he would come to her next class.

"I will never understand that girl."

* * *

The poor kit was stuck having to wait there throughout the night and into the next day, with Amy eventually joining back up with him. Finally, however, the blue hedgehog stirred and woke up, if you could call it as such.

"Hey, buddy… How're you feeling?"

"My face is numb…" Sonic rubbed his hands all over his face to try and get a feeling for it. "Where's my face?! I can't feel it!"

"Relax, you're fine. See?" Tails showed Sonic a mirror as proof that nothing happened to his 'money maker' (also Sonic's words).

"No, my face is in this little stick... I gotta get it out!" He snatched the mirror from Tails and shattered it against the table, and when he couldn't find any remnants of his face, he began to sob, realizing it was lost forever.

"Oh, come on, Sonic, you're being ridiculo-"

"Amy, that's just the anesthetic talking. You see the medicine works to numb feeling in your nerve endings so you can't feel pain. It also makes you a little loopy sometimes."

"For how long?"

"A few hours at the most. The good news is now we can take him home and monitor him there until it wears off."

"Is everything alright in here?" The dentist walked in to check in on everything, but mostly to make sure everything was going the way Eggman wanted.

"AH! ROBOT OVERLORD SENT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Sonic cried in fear and hid his face under his neckerchief.

"Uh…"

"He's gone into after dentist mode."

"Yes, yes, of course. Now Sonic, if you'll just sign here, you're free to go."

"That pen has a little panda on it…" He chuckled until he had to hold his sides from that.

"Please, just sign the paper."

Sonic attempted to sign his name, but he ended up drawing a little picture of a roller coaster instead.

"*sigh* I'm sorry, but I can't discharge him yet."

"Dang. Here, I have some whiteout you can borrow, mister." Tails offered.

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's go Amy."

After the duo cleared out, the dentist followed behind, releasing the restraints and leaving the door open in the process.

* * *

Sonic, lost in his garbled thoughts, was suddenly jarred by a little buzzing in his head. "Wazzat..? That you mommy…?"

"Psst… Hey, Sonic."

Confused at the voice that comes from nowhere, Sonic decides to place it on his hand.

"Santa…?"

"No, no. I'm the Freedom Fairy…"

"A fairy?! Ooh, can I see your pretty wings?!"

"Uh, no."

"Aww… BUT I WANNA SEE YOUR WI-"

"Shh… listen. You don't like this cushy little building, do you?"

"Nuh uh… this place is full of monsters who like to nibble on my feet…

On the other line spoke Dr. Eggman, who had asked his robots to plant a microphone in Sonic's ear while he was asleep.

"Are you quite certain this is going to work, boss?" Orbot questioned.

"Of course it will. He's so delirious that with a little wording magic, he'll do whatever I say. By the time the anesthetic wears off, the village will be mine!"

"Ooh! Ooh! Can you get him to bring ice cream?!"

"No."

"Aw nuts…"

"Ahem… Now Sonic… since you don't like it here… why don't you just walk out and leave…? Nothing is stopping you."

"But the pixie and the mini sun are waiting…"

"Forget about them! Don't you want your freedom…?"

* * *

"Alright, let's try this again Mr. HedgehOOOOOOOOO?" Tails, Amy and the dentist walked in to find that Sonic had vanished.

"Quick, Dr., sound an alarm or something!"

"Yes, of course."

The personnel made an effort to deliberately take their time and allowed Sonic to escape through the backdoor.

"He… got away…" the nurse reported.

"Great… that's just wonderful…" Tails lamented, "... now a delusional teenager with superpowers and the potential to destroy this entire village is on the loose. How's that for a fine howdy doo?"


	3. Time For a Hedgie Hunt

Chapter 3- Time For A Hedgie Hunt

"Alright, go ahead and spit, Mr. Hedgehog."

While Sonic's appointment was obviously going horribly, Shadow's appointment was going off without a hitch. He of course had to get a VERY tedious, day-long tartar scraping, but he didn't care. The sooner he could get outside and away from the island of idiots and mental cases, the better, and his appointment had just about finished when Tails and Amy came in.

Shadow grumbled to himself when he saw them and let out a harsh, "What?"

"Shadow, we need your help…" Tails pleaded.

"No."

"Please? Sonic's delirious from the anesthesia and he escaped. We can't get him without someone else who's quick."

"Do I look like I have the smallest ounce of caring?"

"Please…?" Tails needed Shadow to come and he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Don't make me get a restraining order."

"Pleeeeeeease?"

"No…"

Amy joining in with the begging made it almost unbearable. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-"

"Alright, ALRIGHT! I'll help… just please stop." Shadow gave in and agreed to help, but he wasn't sure how much of his sanity he would have left due to the circumstances. He had to catch his ultimate rival AND he wasn't even coherent?! AND he had to work with two of his annoying friends. Shadow thought this would literally kill him by the end of it. "Let's get this over with…"

Meanwhile the village was about to be attacked by Eggman's most "ULTIMAST WEAPON EVAR!"

"You're getting too excited, boss."

"Be quiet Orbot…"

So what was Sonic's first uninfluenced action now that he was free from the grip of the evil dentists' office? Why licking the library of course, did you expect anything lesser?!

"OOH, it tastes like peppermint!"

"No, stop!" Eggman suddenly shouted. "The library is made of black licorice snakes!"

"NOT BLACK LICORICE SNAKES!" With uncoordinated movements, Sonic eventually rubbed the taste of the building off of his tongue."

"The black licorice snakes are calling you names! Don't you hear them?!"

"NOBODY CALLS ME NON-SEXY!" Sonic smashed the licorice snakes into tiny little pieces, catching the attention of Fastidious Beaver.

"If you didn't like reading, why didn't you just say so…?"

This course of action went on for QUITE some time. Maybe things were destroyed, whether it was the fall of the town hall because Eggman told Sonic the aliens were turning puppies into milkshakes there, or the warehouse being wrecked because Eggman made Sonic think the mechanical whirring was due to radioactive mutation and that he needed to save the unicorn in there., even ruining the archaeologist site for the worst crime possible: There. Were. Bendy Straws… and bendy straws are the most EVIL thing in the entire world…

"This is going rather swimmingly, wouldn't you say, guys?"

"Oh, yes DEFINITELY…" Orbot muttered, "...I'm actually shocked."

"Now what should I make him do now…? … OH, I KNOW! I'll make him attack his friends so they'll be out of the picture!"

"But won't he be too uncoordinated to fight?"

It was almost as if Eggman couldn't hear Orbot, but the robot was all too right. Sonic was already stumbling like a fool, far too uncoordinated to do the intricate fighting moves he usually pulls off. Now allied with Shadow, Tails and Amy would have no trouble incapacitating and stopping the furball. Eventually Eggman HAD to realize this, right?

"Nope. Don't see any problem with my current plan. Why do you have so many ridiculous suggestions for ideas today, Orbot?!"

… … ...

Oh dear.


	4. Regaining Sanity

Chapter 4- Restoring Sanity

"Well, maybe he went this way."

"Are you crazy Tails? He went this way!"

"No, don't you see all the destruction?! He went this way!"

"Ugh…"

Shadow couldn't stand these two for much longer. He either had to try and escape and let them fend for themselves or let himself tear all of his hair out while helping them. Why was he helping them in the first place, he wondered. It's not like he cared for Sonic's safety, or the villages for that matter.

 _I'm only helping them because if I didn't they wouldn't have left me alone._ Shadow reasoned with himself.

"SONIC?! COME ON OUT, WE HAVE MILKSHAKES MADE FROM CHILI DOGS AND YOGURT! YOUR FAVORITE!"

"He actually LIKES that disgusting sounding combination?" This made Shadow downright sick to his stomach.

"Well, yeah, he's gotta get his protein somehow."

 _He better hurry and show himself before these two make me sick…_ Shadow thought, holding back vomit.

* * *

Meanwhile, our blue friend made out of ALL the right kinds of 'potato and cuddles' was skipping around the area he just destroyed, oblivious that he really caused some major property damage. The villagers were not pleased.

"See, if you had just let me feed him cookies before…"

"For the last time, we're NOT poisoning Sonic with cookies."

"Well, it's just a suggestion, dear."

"I say we chase him out of town!"

"Alright, ALRIGHT everybody! Quiet down." Mayor Fink said to attempt to silence everyone. "I've done a lot of thinking and realized senseless blaming is why our population is on its last legs in terms of people actually living here. So what do you say we actually figure out WHY Sonic is destroying everything because we KNOW it's not something he would normally do, eh?"

"... RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN!"

The other villagers cheered and they all followed outside to find the little nuisance.

"What's wrong with these guys?" Fink glanced at the camera recording this town meeting, also breaking the fourth wall. "We're not all THAT stupid, are we?"

* * *

"This carnival is boring, Fairy!" Sonic yelled.

"Please keep it down…"

"OKAY! i'll be like a ninja…" Sonic obnoxiously whispered.

"Ugh… this is starting to get tedious…" After having the delirious hedgehog destroy everything, there was nothing left for the doctor to really have him do. He could take over the remains of the area, but that wouldn't be any fun. "Maybe we should just give up this time. There's nothing left to do."

"Look boss!" Cubot said as he pointed to the screen and saw three blips pop up nearby.

"Tails, Amy, and Shadow! That'll be entertaining enough!" The doctor cleared his throat and readied his fairy princess voice again. "Sonic! It's an emergency!"

"ARE THE BENDY STRAWS BACK?!"

"No, worse! Look to your left!"

What Sonic saw was atrocious. Whatever Eggman mixed into that gas, it started to make him hallucinate more than he already was. He didn't see his friends and Shadow, but rather a warlock dark prince with all sorts of fire and lightning and junk that had way too much tail hair and who glittered in the sunlight, a sea unicorn with bubble gum sparkles and fins dripping poison snow cone syrup, and a mouse with a bow tie and a top hat… BUT WITH RED EYE LINER!

"You aren't going to let these guys just roam free are you?! You're a hero, you need to stop them!"

"I won't show them mercy! I- aw… dancing wittle ice creams just popped on my hands and they're really friendly looking and-"

"Go already!"

"Yeppers!" Skipping along as 'normal', Sonic went straight to the unsuspecting trio. It's hard to see why they're all still unsuspecting with Sonic's booming, obnoxious screaming about a bunch of things that don't make sense, but hey it's a cartoon! Cartoon logic trumps all!

Sonic decided to open his attack with a battle cry… that sounded like a whale's song…

"I didn't know it was whale season already…" Tails pondered.

"That's no whale Tails. It's Sonic!"

"REALLY?!"

"Oh, thank goodness." Shadow said to himself. "Alright, let's get him calmed down so you can take him home and I can leave this place."

"Sonic, let's go home so you can have a snack and take a nap, okay…?" Amy said as if she was talking to a child.

"IN THE NAME OF FLUFFY ISLAND I MUST SMITE THEE!"

"Hold up, wha-" Tails said before Sonic clumsily tackled him, lightly patting him instead of punches and kicks. Tails only laughed at his assailant. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SONIC QUIT IT!""

"NEVER! YOU MUST BE SMITED!"

"A little help, guys…?!" Tails said between giggles.

"Here, Tails, let me help." Amy carefully lifted the dazed and confused hedgehog up and gently put him down.

"Thanks. I think I have a solution for the anesthesia problem. See, if he took deep breaths, the extra oxygen will go into his brain and it'll wear off faster!"

"How do we make that happen when he's THIS way?" Shadow asked.

Sonic charged in like a bull straight into Shadow, banging both of their heads in the process. The attack knocked Sonic right out and left Shadow in a very bad daze.

"NO! NO! THAT CAN'T HAPPEN! STUPID HEDGEHOG, WAKE UP!" Eggman screamed, but the yells fell on deaf ears. All Sonic could do at that point was continue his crazy actions in dreamland, not a threat to anyone, and Eggman only gave away his earphone's position. And his identity.

"Wait… Did you guys hear that…?" Amy checked in Sonic's ear and found the tiny ear phone. Carefully taking it out and giving it to Tails, he quickly realized it was Eggman's technology.

"Eggman, of course! Why didn't we figure this out sooner? He must have masqueraded this whole thing!"

"Then it's up to us to teach him a lesson! Come on Tails, let's go. Shadow, watch Sonic."

"And I thought I got the worst job… yippee…" The black hedgehog slowly picked himself up and pulled himself together while Tails and Amy went to Eggman's fortress.

* * *

"Gah! Why do all of my amazing plans fail! I BEGGED YOU TO HELP AND YOU DIDN'T DELIVER, UNIVERSE!"

"What are you gonna do now, Boss…?" Cubot asked meekly.

"*sigh* Bring out the robot army…"

"But you never rebuilt anything." Orbot said.

"Then you know what?! I'm going to fight Sonic's friends myself! Time to prove my prowess as a fighter! LET'S DO THIS, SUCKAS!"

"And, now he's snapped."

"Should I go make the popcorn?"

"No no, he'll only disassemble us if he sees us eating at his own expense. Plus, no mouths."

"Aw, shoot…"


	5. The Tragedy of a Psychotic Dr Eggman

Chapter 5- The Tragedy of a Psychotic Dr. Eggman

Poor wittle Eggbaby couldn't handle wosing anymore so… he tried getting RIPPED!

"With my weight set, I'll gain muscle mass faster than Sonic can run across the globe. We'll see those rotten freaks beat me now!"

"Boss I don't think that's possib-"

"WOOOO! You can do it boss!"

"Now, then," Eggman continued," On to the lifting!" Pressing a button, Eggman summoned the lightest dumbbell he could find: a light 3 pounder. Eggman prepared for this daunting feat by performing various calisthenics. "I… am a man… a man that can lift this object effortlessly. Watch and learn."

An hour later, try as he might, the wittle baby doctor barely lifted it an inch of the ground.

"Come on, FEEL THE BURN BOSS!" Cubot screamed in encouragement. Said boss was underneath the dumbbell now, unable to get off of the ground.

"If he can't even lift 3 pounds," Orbot lamented, "How is he supposed to beat Sonic's friends…?"

* * *

"Eggman's lair, dead ahead!" Tails cried as he lowered his plane towards the lone island fortress. "Amy, hop out!"

With a grand leap, Amy exited the plane, soon followed by her fluffy, yellow friend.

"So how are we going to go about this? Face rearrangement? Tickle torture? A single, very hard punch in the shoulder?"

"Nope. I don't think we'll even need to go in there…" The two looked up and heard Eggman trying his best to lift a 10 pound weight. It didn't sound pretty.

"What's he doing up there…?" Amy asked.

"I think he's showing physical exertion."

"So… exercising… Eggman is exercising. Okay, where's the flying pigs?" Amy replied with an exasperated tone.

"We should probably stop him before he hurts himself…"

"GUAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"... anymore than he already has." Tails suggested.

The two of them were surprised to find the front door was wide open, almost as if Eggman expected them to come. Inside they found an unkempt opening hall, a hall usually clean and strewn with picture after picture of the mad doctor himself. Orbot and Cubot, upon the Doctor's request, were hard at work making the building presentable

"Faster, they could be here any minute!" Orbot instructed Cubot.

"Hey, guys." Tails said to the two robots.

"Well that was a waste of an afternoon." Cubot said as he put his paintbrush down and hovered into the next room to go relax with a nice cup of oil tea.

"Thank goodness. Please go and talk some sense into the boss. He's starting to scare us. Here, Motobug, can you lead them up there?"

The Motobug nodded and led Amy and Tails to Eggman's newly installed gym. The equipment hadn't been there half a day and it already showed signs of it being ruined. The room wasn't properly ventilated so Eggman's 'unique' stench filled the area with a thick musk; it was old man and egg salad scented. There Eggman stood in the middle of the room, utterly exhausted, but with new, very toned and sort of sexy muscles. Course they belonged to a scientist hitting his mid 30's so…

"WHOA!" Tails exclaimed in surprise. "How the heck did you get those so fast?!"

"Shocking, I'm sure! I simply FORCED my muscles to grow using the sheer power of my vastly superior mi-"

It was then that Amy discovered a small red box in the corner of the gym room. "'Ultra Mighty Inflatable Arms, for when you want to look incredibly powerful without a minute in the gym…' Really?"

"Give me that!" Quickly snatching the box away made the fake arms give out and pop, revealing Eggman's originally scrawny arms. "Why do I even TRY to be creative? These blow-ups were supposed to intimidate and frighten you away, but now look what you've done!"

"Yeah, we're REALLY afraid of poorly made rubber arms." Amy snarked.

"Rubber arms… have I seen that somewhere before?" Tails pondered

"SHUT UP!" Eggman pressed a button on a nearby console and out came Obliterator Bot and Burn Bot from the ruins of the village. "If you guys are SOOOOO SMART, you should be able to find out a way to make sure what's left of the village isn't smashed and burned to dust! But you can't!" He pressed another button and the two heroes' communicators became jammed. "Because now you can't warn your pals. SO I WIN! HA HA!" Eggman got into his pink onesie and started an elaborate victory dance. He didn't care who saw for he was too ecstatic.

* * *

"Why am I even bothering with this idiot…?"

"Hey, Shadsy! SHADSY, SHADSY, SHADSY!"

"...What… is it?"

"I CAN TOUCH MY SHOES WITH MY TONGUE WITHOUT BENDING OVER WANNA SEE?!"

"...ugh…"

The good news for Shadow was that Sonic was _completely_ bonkers anymore upon regaining consciousness. The bad news was that he now temporarily had the mind of a five-year-old from the anesthetic not quite being out of his system. And he was left to babysit the moron.

"When this is over, I never want to see you again, understand?"

"Okay Shadsy!"

"Stop… calling me… 'Shadsy…'. It's SHADOW…"

"But Shadsy is a cuter name…" Sonic almost whined as he pouted from being scolded. Shadow always hated Sonic, but at least he was mature enough to tolerate for short periods of time.

"I DON'T GIVE A-" Just then, Burn Bot drew flames in between the two hedgehogs, separating them and nearly making Sonic cry from fear. The younger hedgehog made a girlish scream and hid behind the ruins of the library.

"SCARY CLOWN MONSTER ROBOT!"

"So, Eggman's sent something to finish the job… I'm debating stopping you or not, robot."

And so Burn Bot dawned his judge wig to try and confuse Shadow into submission. He figured if he could get into the court system before and fool everyone but Amy before, it'll definitely work now.

Unfortunately, Shadow isn't stupid. Far from it.

A quick Chaos Control onto its back made that much clear.

The black hedgehog was VERY close to snapping into a rage. All he wanted was a dental check up, for crying out loud. And now robots were here to enrage him further. But as fate would have it, as Shadow readied himself to rip the bot's head off its shoulders, Obliterator Bot gave him a quick punch to the head, giving him the 'rest' he wanted this entire day.

Poor little Sonic was left alone as the robots approached him, his vulnerable self filling with adrenaline. He had to run or be attacked by these two evil borgs. As he got more and more worked up, something miraculous happened. The blue hedgehog could feel his mind become more clear, his normal processes returning to him. Eventually, while confused and with amnesia of the events before, he was returned to normal, albeit with a massive pain in his temples and fixed teeth. The adrenaline had overpowered and neutralized the anesthesia, bringing our egocentric friend back.

"...is the operation over…?" Sonic said wearily, rubbing his head to clear the pain. He looked around to take in his surroundings and saw the destroyed village. "What happened here?!"

"Objective: Destroy Village Remains."

"If you destroy anything else, how are we supposed to have a main location to fight in?! You can't build something from ash," Sonic said to Obliterator Bot.

"... … … Tiny hedgehog has a point. Objective terminated."

"WHAT?!" Eggman screamed into the communicator. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!... rgh, GET HIM BURN BOT!"

Burn Bot came up to Sonic with great speed, prepared to rip thim a new one. But being Sonic, the hedgehog was ready for him.

As the android lowered its flamethrowers, Sonic hopped on and began Homing Attacking the thing apart. Try as it might, Burn Bot couldn't get the hedgehog away from its person. Its gears and circuits quit, downing the automaton like a mighty oak.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo…"

After his plans failed him again, even with such careful and extensive preparation, the doctor's mind couldn't handle anymore.

And down he fell as he fainted, sending his mind into a blank oblivion.

And when he awoke… nothing but light...


	6. All's Well That Ends Well?

Chapter 6- All's Well That Ends Well…?

"Urgh… ugh…"

"Yay! He's finally waking up!" Cubot said as his boss regained consciousness.

"...did I win…?" Eggman said as he picked himself up, rubbing his head.

Shock dawned on the doctor's face as someone unexpected spoke up.

"I don' tink soh, Eggheh."

Eggman turned and saw Sonic and and a few of his friends on his couch, with Amy stuck to the wall with glue and green paint all over her, Sonic nursing a black eye with a comically oversized steak and cloth tied on his head to support his jaw, Tails trapped on his giant roller coaster, Knuckles wearing his pink onesie (and strangely enjoying it), the entire base a mess, and Sticks watching pay-per-view on his TV (Whether or not this is an action to spite him is unknown, but she didn't seem to enjoy herself regardless).

The horror...

"What are you filthy animals doing on my clean couch?!" The doctor said in a rage.

"It's the only place in your base not destroyed, flooded, or caught on fire," Sticks said bluntly, absentmindedly flipping through channels. They cost Eggman about 100 Rings a pop, by the way. "*scoff* And that's how the man gets ya. Entices ya with promises of glory, fame, and programming not laced with subliminal messages and ya get more of the same…" With that, Sticks threw the remote at the TV, breaking it and leaving Eggman speechless.

"What, I'm helpin' ya in the long run."

"Can someone please tell me what's going on…?" Knuckles said, obviously confused.

"Yeah, someone please explain!" The impatient doctor said, tapping his foot.

"Yuh kinna broh ewrythih'..." Sonic tried to explain as clearly as he could with his hurt jaw. No one understood a single word he said.

"Can you speak English, you stupid hedgehog?!"

Amy groaned. "Look, you went on a rampage and broke everything. Orbot and Cubot called us all over after we came back from taking Sonic to the dentist and told us to try and calm you down. You can imagine how well that turned out..."

"You put me in your onesie and tucked me into you bed like a sweet baby." Knuckles said smiling, clapping and hopping up and down.

"Yeh, an' affa thah', yuh whaked muh in teh fas." Sonic said, pointing to his black eye.

"Then you put Tails on that really cool roller coaster!"

"SOMEONE GET ME OFF OF THIS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!" Tails screamed.

"Hey, can I go on next?!"

"Strange…" Eggman pondered, "I don't remember doing any of that…"

As he paced back and forth in amazement, he jabbed his foot into something metal. And painful. A giant gas canister to be exact.

"What is this…?" Eggman asked Orbot.

"Don't you remember? It's the anesthetic you were going to use on Sonic. You accidentally kicked a hole into it and well…"

At this news, Eggman felt his blood light on fire with rage. Team Sonic sensed this, 'cause they scooped up Tails and split before Eggman started letting his two robots in on his frustrations.

"You let me waste a PERFECTLY GOOD PLAN THAT DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED FROM MY GENIUS?!"

"Now, we're in for it…" Cubot said in fear to Orbot.

And to the current day, Eggman never wanted anything to do with anesthetic again. He would always find other ways to knock himself out before getting cut open. But that, my friends… is for another time...


End file.
